The Fool’s new conveyance on the Hill, la pharamineuse Renault 4 F4 Eppur
Si Muove (or Stealth Gamekeeper,
I still haven’t decided on the name).
 |
| Eppur si muove |
A proper little van – 1100 cc petrol in-line four-pot (originally
rated for 34 brake horsepower though I suspect a few of the horses have bolted
by now), fed by a single Zenith carburettor (as God intended, no pesky
injectors or electronics) –, perfect for moving both self and stuff around the Hill.
 |
| Stealth Gamekeeper |
Perfect also, now that I think about it, for sneaking up –
like a lioness slinking among tall grasses – on rabbits come to feast on my
broad beans (or, for that matter, on poachers come to poach on the rabbits). One
never knows when it may come in handy.
Finally, perfect for rediscovering the
lost joy of driving – heel-and-toeing and double-declutching (to keep the revs
up and the cogs meshing properly as you crash down through the gears – as one
does – on the approach to a corner); carrying speed through corners, and
clipping your apexes just so; planning your braking well in advance (and then applying
pressure to the pedal as though you mean it, not dabbing it gently and relying
on assisted circuits to do the job for you); building momentum before tackling
uphill portions of the road (not to mention steep cobbled driveways, such as
the one on the Hill) … In other words, a thinking man’s car, one that rewards one’s
powers of recall, concentration, reasoning, preparation, anticipation (and largely
unused muscles). In other words: want
to exercise your brain? Fuck sudoku and crossword puzzles and mind games — go
drive an old car.
People carrier, farm truck, produce
transporter, boy racer, brain teasing device, exercise machine – the original
Multi Purpose Vehicle, what! Which is just as well, seeing as we’re living in
difficult times, and even the wealthiest farming estates need to husband all their
resources in a responsible manner.
And you know what? Given today’s speed limits, speed bumps, traffic
lights and general ‘elf-and-safety fascism, for most trips it’s just as quick, point-to-point, as any modern car – 35 minutes from Hill to City. Honest.
