life afloat – off to see the world

Western Approaches – cape Espichel off the port bow

Layer cake – Cape Espichel abeam

Riviera – cliff face near Alpertuche

L'Origine du Monde – cliff face near Arrábida

Wolf on the prowl – Navy patrol vessel steaming off Arrábida

life lessons that are priceless – termagants

"Will never understand what women want. What do they want? They eat green salad and drink human blood."

Herzog, Saul Bellow

the soundtrack of moths to a flame

Andy would bicycle across town

in the rain to bring you candy

and John would buy the gown

for you to wear to the prom

with Tom the astronomer

who'd name a star for you

But I'm the luckiest guy

on the Lower East Side

‘cause I've got wheels

and you want to go for a ride

Harry is the one I think you'll marry

but it's Chris that you kissed after school.

Well, I'm a fool, there's no doubt

but when the sun comes out

and only when the sun comes out ...

I'm the luckiest guy

on the Lower East Side

‘cause I've got wheels

and you want to go for a ride

The day is beautiful and so are you

My car is ugly but then I'm ugly too.

I know you'd never give me a second glance

but when the weather's nice

all the other guys don't stand a chance

I'm the luckiest guy

on the Lower East Side

‘cause I've got wheels

and you want to go for a ride

I know Professor Blumen

makes you feel like a woman

but when the wind is in your hair

you laugh like a little girl.

So you share secrets with Lou

but we've got secrets too

Well, one: I only keep this heap for you

‘cause I'm the ugliest guy

on the Lower East Side

but I've got wheels

and you want to go for a ride

Want to go for a ride?

The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side, Magnetic Fields

Adolescent daydreaming

motoring life

There is a new/old battered Land Rover at Fool Stables. I am both glad and sorry to say that it replaces the Renault 4 L in the affections of the Fool on The Hill. Make no mistake, I still love the 4 L dearly, and stand by everything I said about her (yes, cars have a gender), but where the 4 L is cute and dainty and delicate, the Land Rover is square and tough and an altogether more serious piece of kit. I have always wanted one, and now I have it, and the fact is I love it more.

No Middle Eastern potentate collecting his latest gold-plated Roller from a posh West End dealer – or superstar fooballer his purple Lambo from Sant’Agata Bolognese – has anything on a Fool and his Landy.

Down-at-heel aristo car porn trumps bling any day of the week. (Or so we console ourselves thinking.)